The Funds. They Keep Coming.

Don't think I've forgotten about you. I've wanted to post our fundraising progress for a while now. Except, well, last week this is what our internet was like:

...

Seriously. No internet. All week. Because, you know, for fun.  Except not fun at all. Finally our company got a repair guy out last Friday. So then I would have posted.

Except football season. And you know me and football season, don't you? Well, if you don't I'd be happy to share more. Except I can't. Because I essentially took zero pictures. Something about being in 100 degree heat for 12 hours makes me not very photo-happy.  Anyway, tiger victory. Let's move on to the week before last week, shall we?

So first, the t-shirts arrived a week ago Thursday. I was so very nervous.  We had the goal of selling 100 t-shirts.  I was hopeful but realistically thought we might not make it.  With a few days to go, we weren't there yet. And I don't know if it's theologically appropriate to pray for t-shirt sales but I did it anyway. And the day we put our order in? It was for 157 t-shirts.

You guys.

They arrived and my fears were immediately put at ease. They were softer than I expected. They were cooler than I had hoped. And since I got both colors, they are now two of my favorite shirts in my closet. We were so blessed to work with a great company, have wonderful people purchase them, and all around just have a fabulous t-shirt selling experience. So fabulous we are considering making a second order.

What a total blessing.

After accounting for the costs of the t-shirts, shipping, etc., we made right around $1500. I couldn't be happier. We were praising God!!

And then a little less after we realized we had to sort and ship all those t-shirts.

I kid. But seriously. They took over our house. The day before trivia. Which was, in it self, kind of a big deal. Exhibit A, my dining room table:

Yeah. That's less than half. They were all over my house. On every piece of furniture. But we were so thankful for the funds they raised.  

The day after t-shirts we gathered for what was quite possibly one of the most fun nights of my life: Trivia Night.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. My wedding was about half the size of trivia night. Never had so many people gathered to support me in an endeavor. It was completely overwhelming.

I ran like a crazy person all day but really didn't have that much to do. Why, you ask? Because I have a wonderful group of friends who took on so many of the organizational and gathering tasks. And by 6:30 everything was ready to go and people started showing up.

Let the masses arrive!

At which point I ran to the bathroom. To hide. And pray. And for all the praying that had gone on in the past 6 weeks over this trivia night, all I could pray at that exact moment was, "God, could you please make this fun?? All the planning and people gathering will not be worth much if people come and have a miserable time. Please, please, make it fun."

Now, I know it was for me. And I know I am completely and totally biased. But I really, truly thought it was a very fun night.

Standing at the front of the room, in our t-shirts, preparing for trivia

There was lots of laughing.

Scorekeeping table, having fun and working hard!

And lots of (I think good-natured) frustration as people worked their hardest to get the questions right

And there was some funny game playing

And I even got to hold the mic a few times



There was eating and drinking and all sorts of merriment. There was even a winning team. Who won a golden mailbox of glory.

But the best part of all of it was so many people saying such kind words and supporting us financially and emotionally.

You see, when you've been waiting for an adoption for 2 years and it might be a while still (even though you hope not), you begin to wonder if people still are around. Oh at the beginning, they're there. And they're praying. But two years later? When there's no cute picture or plane tickets to buy yet? When it's just quiet frustration and more updates that cost more money? It's easy to feel alone.

But we didn't feel alone that night. We were filled to the brim with other people's hope for our future family.

We couldn't have done any of this without our friends and community. And this isn't all of them. But it is a good chunk of our small group, who worked tirelessly. They planned, they wrote questions, they picked up pizza. They set up tables. They prayed with us. And for us. And over us. And they stayed til we locked up that night.  

Do you want to know what love looks like? Take a good look.

As we were putting the place back together, the womenfolk started to count the money. And they sent me away, wanting to do a grand total together.  So when I finally stopped moving long enough to celebrate, they handed E and I a bank envelope containing...

Almost $4,000 in profits. You guys. In my wildest dreams. Seriously. I just stood there and I am pretty sure I was so shocked I didn't know what to say.

So, you might notice our thermometer has moved quite a bit in the past two weeks.  That's all of you.  Coming together. Buying t-shirts. Giving donations. Playing trivia. Telling your friends to buy t-shirts and play trivia.

And while I can't write a handwritten thank you to each of you, oh how I wish I could. Because the gratitude in this heart? It overflows. I pray you know how much it means to us to be supported so fully.

And so, with that, we can officially accept a referral any day. The money? It's there. 

The travel money? Not so much yet. But we are sure it will come with time.  People are already asking what fundraising we'll be doing next. And while there will be a "next fundraiser," we are going to breathe and be fully thankful for the provisions we've had thus far for a hot second. I need a little time to recoup. And I am guessing my friends do, too.

I know this post is long but I will answer the final question everyone keep asking: what about that referral?

Well, here's what we know: the new process in Ethiopia (called PAIR) is slowing down the referral process right now as agencies work to meet all the new paperwork requirements. Turns out having every t crossed and i dotted in a developing nation is not exactly easy. So things are slow right now and they don't expect many kiddos to be paperwork-ready in the next few weeks.

This may or may not have any effect on us. After all, we don't really have a good idea of "where we are" in reference to when we'll get the call. Could be soon. Could be later. All depends on what kiddos get clearances and whether or not they fit in our request or someone else's.

But tonight, none of that matters. We're going to sit back and be thankful for a little while.

Thank you for being our people, all of you.  We can't wait to introduce IC to the people who make us so incredibly blessed.

...

(Thanks to Ashley and Meg for the photos)

Break it Down Now

I know many people who read my blog are considering adoption themselves. And I get a similar question from lots and lots and lots of people.  So today, I'm going to try to answer it as best as I can:

How much does this adoption cost? Why is it so much?

You may have noticed a beautiful new thermometer wiki over on my sidebar.  I decided I personally needed a way to show how far we've come (because we've come a long way with all your help!!) and how far we have to go.

That thermometer has a pretty large number, huh? It seems almost ridiculously large to think we will need more than $42,000 to complete this process. Well, first, let's say God has already provided so, so much.  We've used almost $14,000 and, as of today, we have a little over $8,000 in the bank, thanks to generous people who love us well.  But we still have about $20,000 to go.  So how do we get there? Well, let's start with how far we've come.

I think the adoption process can kind of be broken up into three phases that are neither equal in length nor cost.  And when you break it down, cost-by-cost, it all seems to make sense. It's just adding them up to a total that looks crazy-pants.  So let's break it back down.

First, you have the acceptance/dossier-gathering phase.  We were accepted to AWAA March of 2011 and officially submitted all our paperwork on November 18, 2011.  Here are the fees and costs
we paid in between:

Application Fee	$250
1st Installment of Program Fee	$1,500
Home Study (varies by state)	$1,800
Home Study Visit Travel Fees	$110
Hague online training module	$175
Documents/Background Checks/Passports	$300
USCIS Fee & Update Fee + Fingerprinting	$890
Notarization, Certification & Authentication	$100
Total	$5,125

These fees help make sure we are legit. Like, we love each other. And kids. And we've thought about this for more than 5 seconds. Our agency says that through the home study process. And then with the USCIS fingerprinting, the US government puts its seal of approval on the process as well.  Some of this money goes to our agency as well, to help them run smoothly and to continue all they do in-country to keep kids and families healthy and safe.

Next, when you finish all the document gathering, you submit a good chunk of money and officially become a "waiting family."  This is called being "DTE" meaning your Dossier went To Ethiopia.  That's when your waiting "clock" starts.  So, when you hear me say we have been waiting for 20 months, that means our dossier was sent to Ethiopia 20 months ago.  At this point, there's nothing official to do but wait. We have read books, been to parenting and adoption conferences, and prayed a lot. But here's what we submitted to get to that point:

Courier Service	$150
2nd Installment of Program Fee	$2,000
Post Adoption Report Deposit	$1,000
Dossier Service & Translation	$800
1/2 International Program Fee (1 child)	$3,750
training module for older child adoption	$35
home study update (Dec 2012)	$570
gas for free USCIS update	$75
home study update phone call (July 2013)	$282
Total	$8,662

The wait times continue to get longer. Here's the thing about that: all those documents we gathered? They expire.  Our home study expires every 12 months. Our fingerprints expire (I am 100% serious). And when you update, it usually costs something.  Not always. The first set of fingerprints were free but the next ones we will inevitably need will cost us the same as the first time we did it. So yeah.

One day (and only God knows that day) we will get a call from our family coordinator. She will tell us they have a referral for us. We have a week to review the documents and decide whether or not we think this child or children are the ones God has called to our family.  You get a picture to go with that documentation. I don't know how you don't say yes at the first glance but we will make sure the paperwork is reviewed by an international specialist etc.  When we do decide this is the referral for us, here's what we'll need in the bank to accept it:

USCIS update	$890
International Specialist Consultation	$400
3rd Installment of Program Fee	$1,500
Post Adoption Administrative Fee	$385
1/2 International Program Fee (1 child)	$3,750
Full Program Fee for 2nd child	$7,500
Total	$14,425

There are plenty of "ifs" in these costs (like will God give us one child in this referral or two--that changes everything) but this is the number we will be thinking of when we predict how much we'll need to be happy and not completely terrified when the call comes.

So... let's say we get the call. We have the funds. We celebrate and accept!!  Next comes even MORE waiting and then two sets of traveling. The first traveling is to go to court and make him or her or them ours. Then we will come home and wait in horrible suspense. And one day,we'll get a call that the US has agreed with what Ethiopia has already said: "they are ours."  And we will travel to bring them home.  

Travel is unpredictable when it comes to costs.  We'll have very little notice to buy tickets and our dates won't be very flexible.  We'll be at the hands of travel agents who will work hard for us.  But here's what we *think* it will look like:

Trip 1 - Airfare	$4,000
Trip 1 - In-Country Travel Package (2 adults)	$2,500
Trip 1 - Visas (2 adults)	$40
Trip 2 - Airfare	$4,000
Trip 2 - Airfare (2 child passes)	$2,000
Trip 2 - In-Country Travel Package (2 adults)	$2,000
Trip 2 - Visas (2 adults)	$40
Visa/Embassy Fee (2 child)	$460
Total	$15,040

As I said, we can't be certain about travel  costs but this is what we think it will look like.

We are so thankful to our God.  Wow. He has done amazing work in people's lives to help us get to where we are. I mean, yesterday alone we received a gift that moved us way up toward our goal. Seriously. You don't know me well if you think for a second I didn't burst into tears. But then again, I burst into tears at God's faithfulness all the time.

We are seriously amazed at how many people love us and feel compelled to help us and we thank God for the way he has brought this together.  Not one kind word, prayer, or check goes unnoticed. We are so, so blessed by our village.

So where do we go from here?  $20,000 is still a sizable chunk. We'd like to raise as much as possible and then we'll move forward with asking for grants.  Here are some of the ways you can help, if you are so inclined (and this is in addition to prayer, which we need desperately):

*Trivia Night! If you are in town, message me for more details. August 23 we are trying to pack out the church. It should be a blast!

*support through our adoption account--we are blessed that our church has created an account for us. You can write your preference is for your donation to go to us in the memo of a check written to our church and it will go into our support account.

*And finally, t-shirts! We are still selling our t-shirts through August 13. You can preorder them on at our Storenvy store.  Here are the designs:

Adult shirts are a softer shirt and are available at $20/shirt.

Children's shirts are a gildan shirt (your everyday tshirt) and are $15/ shirt.

You can order in person from E or myself up until August 13 (or my parents if you happen to live close to them). Share with your friends, your family, your neighbors. After all, who wouldn't want an adorable, comfy shirt!?

We know God will pull this all together. We feel deep in our bones he has called us to this and we are thankful he always provides for the things in his will.  We are along for the ride. And what an exciting ride it is!!

Thanks for blessing us with your love. We don't deserve it. But for grace...