Little One Letter

Hi Little One,

It's crazy for me to think for so long I wrote to you as a boy and now you might actually be a girl! Oh my goodness! I can't wait to meet you.  I am probably even more excited now that we have absolutely no idea what gender you will bring to our family!!

I have to tell you the kind of love and support our community already has for you.  So many people are excited to meet you. We talk about you almost every day. We discuss what you will be like, when you will arrive, how your transition will be, and how very, very much you will be loved.

You also have lots of prayers coming your way. Not just from me, your mama. Although I have to tell you, I am praying for you often. I pray for your safety. That you will know you are loved by your first family and by us. I am already praying you will connect with us and God will bond our family together. I hate it that I can't be there from your first moments. I may be missing years of your life and it pains me more than you will ever know that I can't protect you from all the things that will happen before we are united in family-hood.  And so, instead I pray.  That God will protect you. But I know it will still be hard.  So I look forward to the times we will get to spend together.

Today I weeded the garden. I pictured you with small garden gloves and a small shovel.  I imagine at first you'll just dig the dirt but eventually I'll help you learn to garden. Or maybe you'll be like I was as a kid and stay inside while your whole family digs in the dirt. I hope not. From personal experience, I can tell you, one day you'll wake up. You'll be grown up. And you'll have no idea how to plant flowers and you'll wish you had spent more time with your mom and dad landscaping.  So maybe I'll just make you garden. Just kidding.  If you pick up my stubbornness, this will be absolutely impossible.

I guess I'm saying, each day as I do things I look forward to the ways we'll do them together. How we'll teach each other about each other. And how I'll teach you about things here and maybe, if you're a little older, you'll teach me your culture.

I've been cooking all day and I've been wondering if you would actually like any of the things I've cooked.  No doro wot, no injera, no tibs. Nope. Avocado salad and pudding.  Yeah, I am pretty sure I'm going to need some new recipes.  Don't worry--I'll learn for you. In fact, maybe I should get on that. There's one thing I can do during the wait.

I love you, little one.  I think of you so much but love you more.

xoxo,

mom